All Today I pondered my limits, wondering how to push them, how to ask for them to be pushed.. the day got away from me, too many problems to attend to, too many people to please.. by the time the day was over...my mind and body were exhausted... napping was out of the question - it was time to prepare for my evening... slipping into a warm bath, legs shaven, body perfectly smooth and soft.. my mind running over with thoughts, good and bad.. stepping from the bath I thought of the bag he left last week..one I hadn't touched yet.. he knows my innate curiosity will rise and I will look - test, try..
wandering into the bedroom, I pull the bag off the shelf, it is filled to the brim with collars, belts, leashes, restraints of all types.. giggling like a child, I start separating the pieces out, finding matches..I've asked so many times to be restrained - the answer always -you are not ready yet - turning to the mirror, I slip the first collar on.. way too big, slips down to my collar bone.. and I don't like the look - then I find the odd one, the softly curved wide leather speaks to me... I slip it around my neck, it holds my head up, causing me to stand straighter, my long neck fits it perfectly...and with my hair up..it looks stunning... my first piece...
with the collar on, I spend time, rubbing lotion on my legs, pondering the next set of cuffs... which do I like.. holding them to my legs, I see the burgundy leather looks the best... at first I cannot figure how they go, but soon figure them out... I look pretty cute with ankle cuffs laughing softly as I continue to rub the lotion across my hips, back, stomach, gently over my breasts and arms.. ready now for the wrist cuffs - they are almost too large and stiff, but I finally get a tight fit and wiggling my hands, see that I cannot slip out of them...perfect... I look at myself in the mirror and my mind goes thru a change, I feel a perfect sense of belonging, owned.. I like how it looks against my skin, love how the leather feels, and the d-rings jingle when I walk..
I'd found rope sometime ago and now I cut it into 25 ft lengths.. a bit too long, but will work.. so I slip them on all four corners of the bed, coiling the extra lengths on the comforter... dimming the lights, I pull a wide piece of red ribbon out and tie a bow thru the d-ring on the collar.. red stands out so well against my olive skin..I kneel on the bed, head down, arms extended, ass properly up.. waiting..
When he enters the room, my body starts shaking slightly, my breathing becomes rapid..he doesn't say a word, sit his bag down and runs his hands down my back, around my ass, slithering down my legs..then walks around the bed, picking up the rope, and ties my left hand, I bury my face in the comforter, my heart is beating rapidly, I am terrified..still he doesn't speak, continuing to pull my arms out slightly, tying both wrists.. then running his hands over me, calming me, stroking my head, neck, back.. next are my legs, not pulling them straight out, leaving them slightly bent, I can move them easily, but not close them..
now he is in front of me, I cannot see him clearly, my hair has come down covering my eyes... I can barely reach his thighs with my hands, wanting to touch him so badly, feel him..as he unzips his pants, he spreads his legs slightly, just to give me the touch of him, he lifts my head and places his cock in my mouth.. I am in heaven - he tastes so good - the feeling of helplessness so erotic, so sensual - the need to climb up him so fierce, wanting to feel the warmth of his skin so badly... I'm not fighting the restraints, it is actually relaxing in a way.. he fists his hands in my hair, pulling me into him tighter, the collar cutting my air off.. a momentary panic hits my head, then he pulls back, giving me room to breathe.. this collar was perhaps a bad idea, too broad for this position, too restricting.. but I can't ask for it's removal just yet.. I am so enjoying this moment.. pulling back - he reaches and loosens my hands just slightly, then finishes undressing - I feel him slip between my legs, grabbing them behind my knees, pulling my ass to him and I know he will claim what is his.. what I give freely, gladly - je suis a toi
================================ my body wakes, feeling the ghost of you against my back, the hardness pressing into my ass.. i can feel your hand slipping along my hip, making me feel like silk, slippery, languid..i can feel the same hand, glide across my stomach, cupping my breast, two fingers twisting my nipple, squeezing it harder, feeling my legs start to thrash.. you know so well, how much pain to give, to incite my clit into action, make it throb... my legs are now swishing back and forth, feeling the softness of the sheets, not wanting to wake completely just yet.. enjoying the ghost that is taunting me..i love the feel of our sheets.. they are so soft, slippery, making it easy to slide around, finding toys scattered under the top sheet.. feeling the rough edge of a lube case under a pillow.. a damp spot.. wishing you were still here, wanting you here to use me again.. stretching, toes pointed, back arched, sliding my hands down my body, feeling what you feel when you touch me, the softness, silkiness of my skin, the slippery wetness of my cunt, my fingers hesitating, wanting to tease the already swollen, sore clit.. pressing the light bruises on the inside of my thighs, then reaching up to my neck, feeling the bites on my shoulders.. rolling over.. i shut off the alarm..and slip from our nest... ready to see to another day... and it's end..and you...
================================== I wish there were someway to mainline my brain to the keyboard..there is so much running around in my head.. so much that needs to be said, put down, saved, remembered..
I read the writings here - and they spur a thought, that segways into a line, paragraph, story..
The heart - what a fragile, tender thing it is.. I promised myself that I wouldn't fall in love, and I am not really sure what that is anymore.. I've an intense need, want, desire to be around my lover constantly - not just sexually - but walking, talking, going to movies, having a quiet dinner, waking with him hard at my back... and it dawned on me... I would break if I lost this person - my heart would crush - my world would change again... so ...what do you do... simple...don't obsess..let it flow..the fates will have their way, regardless..
then come the triggers - the writings that cause old memories to surface, raise their ugly heads, make you remember - that which you had forgotten...and I get angry..horribly angry at the injustices of our systems, at the ignorance of the human race.. at the arrogance of the perpetrators... I've been molested twice as a child, raped as a teenager, raped and beaten as an adult, sold to be gang-raped, I've been shot at, guns put to my head, beaten until I was unrecognizable, used in ways that horrify my mind sometimes.. and I survived - but not without triggers... so again.. what do you do... you grab a friend and you talk, you grab your lover and work out the bad scenes.. and you go on.. you cannot change the past, but you and only you - have control of your future..
so we come to the end of another day - and I see all the lovely writings, waiting to be read.. all the beautiful compliments, words of encouragement, love from my fellow beings..and I think... Life is so Fucking Good.. and I love you...
============================= It's funny how time changes so many things... I look at myself now and see this evolving, outrageous, raucous woman... compared to who and what I was this time last year..the change is astounding... I have friends now...who would have thought ;-), I have a puppy (someone shoot me please..just kidding..he is awesome, funny and constant trouble..and I love him.. ) I've learned how to laugh, dance again, appreciate myself, accept compliments and accept that yes.. I am a sexual being... I think that part is the most astounding.. the freeing of my body and soul...the lifting of all the restrictions that society and man put on women...
I was raised by southern women - men were always right - you pleased them, kept them, took care of them, never complained and most times, were only there to pro create... I was taught to be a pleaser, and that to please myself, was forbidden by church, family and spouse... if caught-you were a bad girl...some find it hard to believe or understand, that you can live your entire life without touching yourself sexually..
I did..it is how I was taught... it is how my life evolved, now tho and it's taken ten months, I know it's okay and God is not going to strike me blind, dead and my lover isn't going to leave me if I do play with my toys all the time ;-) and he walks in.. it's okay...and if he wants to watch..that's okay too.. (still a bit shy on that one, but I'm learning)..
I have to watch myself, because I want to put up a billboard and let the world know, that it's okay....you aren't going to hell for loving to be pleased, it's okay if you like to be spanked, bound, whipped, tickled, teased... it makes us happier people.. makes us stronger, confident, proud.
================================= Puma, please use me again She can feel her, pacing, quietly.. back and forth...flexing her claws, softly..a low rumble erupts from her throat..she's heard the door open..reaching she stretches past the rib cage, crawling up thru her throat, the woman emits a low moan as she sees him enter the room, head thrown over the side of the bed, hands reaching for his belt, eyes begging him to take her now.. no preamble, no hello..
he doesn't move fast enough, she flips over on all fours, mouth open..words barely heard... please........use........me........... his hand grabs her hair, pulling her down on to his now freed cock, her teeth feel longer, sharper, her throat deeper as she sucks him into her, wanting to chew, bite, growl...his hands find the chain to the nipple clamps and he tugs, strongly..causing her to let out a fierce growl.. his voice rough as he says, "use it my lady, use it".. and with his grip on her hair, drives his cock down her throat, choking her, cutting off her air.. she is thrashing now, legs taught, hips grinding into the bed..the cat is getting stronger, some how, she spins on his cock, landing on her back, hips thrust in the air, begging for his fingers in her cunt.. needing to be used roughly,, her hand finds the new toy...pulling it to her, she flips it around,laying it on her stomach.. hips thrashing in the air, growling, begging him to use it..now..now please..........he removes the whip, knowing that using this, will incite her, cause her to hurt herself and him, so he lowers his mouth, sucking her clit, biting it.. feeling her start to cum...
he eases his cock from her greedy mouth, flipping her over, ass in the air, cheeks spread wide, and enters this ass that is his,, that fits him so well, driving her deeper into the bed, holding her hips, he rolls her gently over, so she can see his face as he moves deeper into her ass, feeling the tremors running thru her, squeezing his cock, tighter, quicker..her fingers, slipping into her dripping wet cunt.. he smiles, softly as he claims the beast, watches as her eyes glaze over, her hips thrusting harder onto him, fingers slowing, wet, slippery..bodies gluing together..her coming is gentler now, quieter, softer...the growls are low, not starving now..easing her legs down, he rolls them on their sides, stroking her face, kissing her lips..telling her - she is okay..that it is okay...
the cat crawls back under her ribs, settling down, stretching as if sunning her self..content for the moment..but still there..bubbling beneath the surface, waiting for the chance..waiting for her moment...
================================ She's wakened by the sound of music.. soft, sweet, haunting.. trying to get her bearings, she realizes she is bound, spread on something very hard.. strange small ridge, running the length of her waist.. she feels the music filter thru her body.. blindfolded, bound..what has happened..how did she get here..
the music continues softly, she feels a strong hand on her shoulder and a voice asks if she is thirsty.. nodding her head, he slips a straw into her mouth..sweet, cool water..
the music stops.. she jumps when she feels a hand on either knee, tugging her forward, she can feel her ass slip off the edge of something hard, he makes a few more adjustments, making sure her cunt and ass are right over the edge.. at her head, something is removed and her head is gently dropped over the edge.. soft fingers are starting to play with her nipples, gently tweaking, twisting, pulling..not hard... she knows this is just the beginning... she feels the breeze first, then the soft...whoomp..as a deer skin flogger hits her inner thigh, setting up a rhythmic beat, slow, sensuous..as the fingers at her nipples, start twisting harder..as if in tune, the flogger strikes her clit at the same time her nipple torturer, squeezes unmercifully.. a laugh.. as her hips rise off the hard surface..
the flogger increases in intensity, striking her clit harder, feeling a soft push at her lips, she opens her mouth, feeling the sweet dew slip over her tongue as he slips his cock into her mouth.. she loves this, loves the taste, feel, depth she can take him.. the flogger has stopped.. she hears the scrape of a chair..then the low moan of a piano, softly playing, she feels the notes crash thru her body, just as his mouth slips over her clit, sucking and drawing her in.. she realizes now.. where she is...she is tied to a baby grand..and she knows without a doubt who her tormentors are.. and yes...she asked...
================================ waking, rolling, feeling softly smooth, gliding slowly, feeling the warmth soaking my skin...
i sink a little deeper, opening my eyes, seeing the startling blue above me, remembering that i drifted to sleep in a small cove off of the blue Sargasso sea.. rolling again i feel a soft weight at my back, flipping my tail slightly i feel him shift, sinking deeper into my body....the connection intense, pleasurable..
i've attracted a friend in my sleep... he moves his pectoral fins slightly, to stay anchored, close.. then he rolls, easily taking me deeper, softly, gently into the darker blue of the cove... i can hear him - emitting small sounds, an echo running thru my body..reassuring me , that i am safe..so we drift, slowly, sensually, deeper, rolling carefully..he as always guiding me-filling me...
================================= ahhh the grass is so cool on this ass as we sit to our picnic - the blanket forgotten for the moment...you love watching my reaction to different sensations, like the grass tickling my thighs, the coolness against my hot cunt - you reach over and unbutton two top buttons - causing my breasts to spill slightly as i lean towards you, seeking your mouth.. kissing you is my passion, i love your mouth, lips, tongue...the feel of your hair sliding thru my fingers..then your hand on my chin, holding me tightly-kissing me hard...i feel your other hand, as those fingers grip my nipple-squeezing it-gently at first, my first moan causes your fingers to tighten, harder - pulling away from our kiss - looking into my eyes - you watch as the excitement builds from the pain, the need to grind my cunt against you..wanting to cum right here, in the park-now..
then... leaving me breathless - you pull away, reaching for a cool drink..
light chatter as we settle to our lunch... sharing bits to each other.. enjoying the sun slipping behind the mountains..leaving the sky a fiery purple, red, yellow.. beautiful - as it can only be in this state.. you lie back reaching for me, resting my head on your chest...my favorite spot... your voice, so soft and low...
you get quiet you know, when you are in teacher mode..when you want me to learn something, when you want me to listen, when you are teaching me...
you whisper in my ear - you must go very slow my lady... she is very shy, afraid, unsure... just be your gentle self, let it unfold slowly... see how you mesh, how you feel together - for i want no one that can hurt us - go slow my lady, no rush... we are enough... for now..take your time...explore, enjoy...
you know me so well my love, so very well... for i would move heaven and hell to please you, to see you smile... and bringing this red head to our bed-was foremost in my thoughts...
i reach to kiss your cheek, reassuring you that i will not rush things.. how can i.. i am still learning, exploring, testing..
wanting that softness so badly, desiring the feel of you both against me...
a desire to learn....how.........
je suis a toi.........
================================ i never knew, not until that day...
the sun is fading, the air is cooling-a typical colorado evening-we've decided to meet at governors park-outside dining at the tavern-loving the way your eyes sparkle when you see me-the knowing look that i've followed your requests to the t's.
the summer dress is un buttoned to mid thigh, as i walk towards you, in my typical fast pace, the dress swings open, close, open, close rapidly-giving you flashes of a freshly shaven cunt, naked legs- and as they separate, a tiny bell-sporting a red ribbon tinkles lightly, your smile widens as i approach the table, your hand slipping quickly, like a magician - to tug at the bell, you give a small laugh as i jump slightly at the erotic feel of it, turning me to sit facing you, a gentle tap to keep my knees spread...open to you..
i sense a change, subtle, in your eyes-someone has come up behind me-as the person comes around me, i see a beautiful red head, skin creamy, like a warmed brie, beautiful green eyes.....i see it now...i never knew..shame on me... you like red heads - but not the fiery ones, you like the gentle, quiet ones...like this woman..she's come to take our order, but the dynamics have changed - she's not sure which of us to talk to - who to turn to ....
turning, i place a hand gently on her arm-drawing her attention - ordering for us both - you look at me startled for a flash, just a second - then you smile - that wonderful proud smile you get, when you see me grow - change - another box destroyed.. you've taught me well, you see this now.. for you my love, i will bring this woman to us - not to me - to us.. and again you will walk me thru the seduction of this woman..teaching me, guiding me, keeping me submissive for you - domme for her - filling both sides of us - i want to watch you use her ..and i am not sure of how to bring this about - my confusion shows... you reach for my other hand, assuring me that all will be right...wonderful...we've ordered - and the woman has left for now - neither of us speaks of what has just passed..
conversation normal - light - fun... our picnic lunch arrives, the woman nervous, smiling.. i touch her shoulder-thanking her for her service, assuring her-we will meet again... a small hand, slips me a paper..
i never knew....we both love red heads.....
=============================== That is me... everyday is like Christmas.. I love and enjoy so much about my life.. all the things I am learning, all the people I am meeting.. I cannot contain the joy I feel.. I've heard some say - they are jaded - bored with this life - nothing left for them in it - WOW Really? I see it as a different gift everyday, hour, minute..
When a box is opened in my mind, and old mores thrown out, replaced by new and exciting feelings - it just seems to lead to something else, that is exciting - a new feeling - like the g-spot thing - I never knew.. what a mind blowing exciting, wonderful, fucking fantastic feeling I am so overwhelmed by all these sensations.. I love and admire my G - for bringing me along slowly- not giving in to my wanting to try EVERYTHING NOW!!! mind.. I have a voracious appetite for knowledge, I have a deep need to feel all those sensations, revel in them.. baby steps, baby steps... You guys are all so lucky to have found this at an early age - you have experienced so much - I love that you are all willing to answer any questions I have - and not tease me because I didn't know.. You bring tears to my eyes with your love and acceptance...
I feel like that song... http://youtu.be/WpmILPAcRQo - Dirty Dancing..
=============================Have I said how much I love the sideways looks we get in this vanilla world? walking down the street, holding hands, laughing, smiling.. our joy plainly in our faces..you fluffing my dress, teasing a button open, exposing more of my legs, breasts while we walk...not too much..just enough to tease your eyes, when you spin me round... I love the looks... they make me laugh... remembering a quip by a young niece...Auntie!! your too old for that!! psssss child... you are never too old to love, laugh, live...enjoy life.. remember that little one, when you are old and grey like me...because I love this life...and I love you my heart...for making me this way..for freeing me....
==============================lying here thinking, feeling, remembering..
the soft fall of the deerskin, as it gently kissed my stomach ..
my back arching slightly, wanting to feel more..
your hesitation, wondering if perhaps this is too soon..
your answer coming, as my moans surround your cock, pulling you deeper into my throat..swallowing you, tasting you..
my hips rising slightly to meet the next fall, shifting just so, to feel the softness, lightly slip past my clit..then
the light sting as you switch to my nipples, brushing the flogger lightly across them, making the turgid tops so sensitive, wanting more, needing more.. feeling the connection between nipples and clit...
my hands holding you tight to my mouth, wanting you deeper, sucking harder begging for more..
and you..my antagonist, my tormentor, my lover...know exactly what to do.. striking me harder, flicking my clit until my hips have risen to your mouth, my legs climbing the walls, your left hand twisting, pulling, torturing my nipple, knowing that this time...i've found that line, the link, between pain and pleasure and I will cum, with the next stroke of the deerskin....you twist my nipple and strike my clit simultaneously ...a low growl erupts from your mouth as I bury your cock in my throat, unable to breathe, cumming so hard..I care not for air..
look how far you have brought me, see how the trust has wrought the pleasure..I love the glow in your eyes, your pleasure at watching me cum...
life is rich..
this girl loves seeing you smile...
================================Of that so sweet imprisonment
My soul, dearest, is fain — -
Soft arms that woo me to relent
And woo me to detain.
Ah, could they ever hold me there
Gladly were I a prisoner!
Dearest, through interwoven arms
By love made tremulous,
That night allures me where alarms
Nowise may trouble us;
But sleep to dreamier sleep be wed
Where soul with soul lies prisoned.
James Joyce /Of that so sweet imprisonment
============================The free bird leaps
on the back of the wind
and floats downstream
till the current ends
and dips his wings
in the orange sun rays
and dares to claim the sky.
But a bird that stalks
down his narrow cage
can seldom see through
his bars of rage
his wings are clipped and
his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing.
The caged bird sings
with fearful trill
of the things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill for the caged bird
sings of freedom
The free bird thinks of another breeze
and the trade winds soft through the sighing trees
and the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright lawn
and he names the sky his own.
But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams
his shadow shouts on a nightmare scream
his wings are clipped and his feet are tied
so he opens his throat to sing
The caged bird sings
with a fearful trill
of things unknown
but longed for still
and his tune is heard
on the distant hill
for the caged bird
sings of freedom.
Maya Angelou / I know why the caged bird sings
The day is winding down, it has been long and arduous..people demanding her attention, constant needs being met..all but hers.. craving touch, craving being used..needing to be used.. her mind is slowing now, becoming languorous, quiet, a bath being drawn, razors lain out, soft candles burning..toys lined up..ready for play.. edging is her favorite respite..walking that edge, not quite falling over, enjoying the molten feeling in her body, knowing that one word from him, one touch, the whisper of a breathe across her nipples, a simple drop of water, will send her spiraling into the deep abyss..an explosion of sensation, pouring over her, sending her mind into the deep primordial pit of raw sex... hearing her mewling, crying out for more... but first the bath.....anticipation...
==============================i amazed myself today....by realizing how much i've grown, changed over this past year..if you took side by side brain scans, you would see a glow, where there once was darkness, emptiness. if you placed pictures side by side ...you wouldn't even see the same woman...fact, someone said that today..Thank you...i haven't looked at my drivers license picture lately, you are right ..it is not me..
today i played in a store, trying on garments...no one has seen this body in centuries, decades, except for doctors, husband and lover.. shame, fear, has always kept me hidden..dressed...today? i found i didn't give a royal fuck...yes, the hesitant, shy woman was still in there trying to hide, but when the patrons didn't run screaming, she started getting comfortable, then she found the shoes...no hope...[shaking head sadly, no hope] lol..
i'm finding - or have found, that i want to be free of life's restrictions, chains placed on us, tying us down, attempting to make you conform to their way of seeing things, i can't do that anymore, i can't be what you want me to be...i've always been a free thinker, in my heart-fighting against the norm..conservative enough not to go to jail tho..[smiling] letting all live and let live...
i have you, my friends - who opened my eyes to this freedom, who made me start seeing, instead of hiding, and you my dom, who has taught me to feel again, to see that i am a lusty, sensuous bitch, to be proud of who and what i am, of the freedom in giving - this different way...and the peace it brings..
===============================i think i shall be one of those old people, that loves to shock the straight, young and innocent...just a little, to help them open their eyes, before life passes them by......but then again, you can still make me blush......sooo maybe not old enough yet ;-)
==============================Skin So Soft by D'Lovely
Note | 1 Comment | 2 months ago
It seems like we connected at first glance
As we talked, our words began to dance
Intertwined like the fragrant smoke of insence
Guided and introduced by a chain of events
Enriched with similarities and comfortable silence
"Your skin is so soft; I long for your kiss"
It seems like a joke, the way Destiny hated
And cruel how Time and Chance patiently waited
I had just about given up on romantic fantasies
Until I tasted chocolate covered caramel swirled cream
As I lick my lips and reminisce
The thought of you is still delicious
"Your skin is so soft and I long for your kiss"
Do you hear that? I think I hear Myles
While looking into eyes that create smiles
Now Coltrane hits a run and your voice is the melody
We embrace each other like two part harmony
You feel so good to me -
Like the after effects of a shot of Hennessy
The way you feel is impossible to conceive
"I like the way you kiss; your skin is so soft"
================================I haven't said outright...but I am owned by a wonderfully sensuous Dom...gosh almighty...is he taking this mind in so many directions...teaching, guiding, filling my head with all sorts of ideas, wants, need to try, taste, test.. my motto when younger, long before the "in" generation think they coined it..was NO FEAR....... you never know until you try... awesome.. just awesome.. I'm a lucky lady... to have found you....Thank you my G...
My G encourages me to learn, attend, ask and seek answers wherever I might need to go... helping this chrysalis - change into a beautiful butterfly...
==============================Life is constantly evolving around me, I've passed the threshold of mourning - my final anniversary date passed earlier this month - I survived - and like a phoenix, my new life will rise from the ashes of the old - I am timid person when around strangers, or in a situation I am unsure of, but give me a moment to get comfortable, smile a few times and I will join in - I am finally stepping outside my bounds - I've been to a munch ( and had a BLAST!!) I didn't want it to end, but reality sets in, job duties rear their heads and you must sleep and function in this world... tonight I attend my first LoveSlave meeting, and I am looking forward to this.. Wednesday my first time with a submissive group - then Thursday and Friday - I will attend a couple of Midori's workshops.. whew.... I've just used up the entire week and still have to work.. how ever will I manage... and have I said.... I LOVE THIS WORLD!!!!